I guess it's about time I post some Jolly Mortals stuff. I joined the Jolly Mortals when I was 16 years old. I didn't take it as seriously as maybe I should have, but nonetheless I took it much more seriously than a lot of kids my age would have.

Here's stuff off our second demo tape. Our first demo was crap and I wouldn't feel right posting it, though if you're a die hard fan I guess we could work something out...



This demo was recorded by Mark Morton (now associated with Lamb Of God) and mixed by John Parton (of RPG fame). That's the good thing about Richmond. There's nothing too big or too small. Everyone's in it together.

Los Chistes
Lubidup II
And That Is All

There was another song on here named Red but I don't have it for some reason. Next up is a live show recorded the first time we played in Roanoke at the Iroquois. That club had all these painted figures on the walls outside such as blues great Bo Diddley and Johnny Winters. Poser, an infamous Richmond punk band, played there the night before we did and drew a big dick on Bo. Those crazy guys.

Intro/Icon
Date With A Death Chick
Standing By A Heater
Red
Hangnail

After we played Roanoke we made friends with some bands from up there and wound up playing on a 4-way split 7" Pat Snavely put out on his Whirled Records. Judy was on the record and If I Can't Have You was an outtake from the same session. We also recorded another version of Los Chistes but I don't have it.


Judy
If I Can't Have You (No one Will)

For Whirled Records' second release we recorded five songs up at Neptune Studios with Max Heinkel (who did the Judy sessions and later most if not all of the Men's Recovery Project recordings). Max developed a distortion effect named Paintscraper so we named the ep after that. At the end of Bedsores we distorted every track with it and you can hear it in all its glory during the fade out talk.

I once read a survey on Friendster that Nathan Webb (of Ipecac and Fresh-o-matics fame) took where he considered Gladiator the worst song he had ever heard. Gladiator was named after a drink that our good friend Brian Campas invented, the recipe is as follows:

1 40 oz Crazy Horse
1 40 oz Beast (Milwaukee's Best)
1 40 oz Mickey's
1 40 oz Colt 45

Combine all ingredients in a lobster pot lined with hashish. Mix with a spoon. Let the gumes begoome.
225
Gladiator
Horselover
4-Ever
Bedsores

There's actually a much better version of Horselover recorded by Eve from an old solo album of David's. I should probably include that here as well.

Horselover

Our next big release was the 12" UB2B vs. the Earth. It featured two Earth bands, us and Cotterpin and two bands from the planet UB2B, Chutney and Nudibranch. Our sessions were recorded at Glass Hand Studios in scenic Shockoe Bottom by Mark Miley. Rabies was an outtake and you can actually hear the tape coming off the reel at the end. Dave Grant of Action Patrol fame said he hated recording with Mark because of his tendency to drink a lot during the recording process. I liked recording there for the very same reason. Society's Fool II is named after the Poser song. They had great song titles such as their ode to beer, Friend in a Can, and Firehose a song about the porn actor Peter North. Anyone familiar with North's work will understand the reference.

We even went to the photo booth at Willow lawn to imitate Hose.Got.Cable's insert for this one, though we didn't have the balls to release it. Tony Brown played second guitar on this one, and his work is most obvious on Frandiclone, Grudgematch, and Short/Long...

Society's Fool II
Diminished
Frandiclone
Grudgematch '94
Short/Long
Rabies

We went on tour for this release with Whirlybird, but Tony could only play the first show in Richmond since he was still in high-school. My Dad let us borrow his work truck (but in his typical capitalist fashion, made us put new tires on it). I'm the J in R&J Painting, even though at the time I hated the fact I was a painter by trade, as opposed to a musician.

This last session was recorded on my 4-Track after we broke up . We made it seem like a live set and claimed it was from our performance at the Becky Venning benefit show which was probably the biggest show we ever played. It was really recorded at Jolly House in Martin's bedroom (formerly David's). Tony Brown played at the real Becky Venning Benefit, though he didn't appear on this recording.

I Need More Space/On Golden Pond
The Drunker You Get The Better I Look
Hydrophobia
The Way That People Drive














And finally, here are a few extras.

Acoustic Judy
Acoustic Grudgematch '94
Cloud Song (Handicapped Version)
Cloud Song
White People Can't Dance
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen